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Surprise, surprise, BP hasn't replied to my email, despite the assurance that they would do so within five working days. I'll try a written enquiry tomorrow...

A Bund dinner at Mexicali Rose. Despite the photo being solely of beer and other beverages, we did have food as well.

Well, after being shouted at yesterday, I've sent off my enquiry to Mr BP asking them to explain themselves and tell me exactly which law it is that requires me to dismount from my bike before filling it…

Thank you for communicating with BP Australia. Your feedback will help us to provide a more valuable, responsive, and reliable internet service in future. A customer service representative will respond within 5 working days.

Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets on whether they will respond within 5 working days, or whether they'll be like the last bank I wrote to who never responded. On the other hand, maybe 5 working days is four calendar months…

It was wet, it was cold, it was miserable, and all I wanted to do was to fill my bike with petrol on the way home. I called in to the BP service station on Ferntree Gully Rd, the same as I'd done any number of times in the past. Pulled up to the pump and put the nozzle in the tank, waiting for the pump to be switched on... and waited... and waited...

Eventually the attendant walked up from his counter to the door and stood there and shouted at me that I had to get off the bike. I asked why. “It's the law he,” shouted. I asked what law. “It's the law, in case you spill petrol on yourself, catch fire and sue us,” he shouted. I asked what law. He told me it was “the law,” and to “get off the bike.”

I told him to get stuffed, put the keys back in the ignition, and rode off to the next nearest servo, where not only was the petrol 2c a litre cheaper, where I could be served sitting on the bike the same as for the last sixteen years, but where I could have a friendly chat with the owner.

Congratulations BP, that's one less customer.